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Lobster Tales
Our intrepid webmaster's foray into lobster fishing
First off, we love lobster, the idea that there is lobster everywhere in the Florida Keys just for the taking, well, we packed up the old beater and moved down. We found a really great cheap place right on the water (cough) and got us a real deal on a nice boat (cough, hack), bought all the safety equipment, dive gear, electronics- including a multi-function, hand-held, state-of-the-art GPS with all the bells and whistles, license and stuff (cough, hack, wheeze) and didn't have enough money left over to buy any gas. Not to worry, we borrow some gas, round up the kids, make 3 trips to the boat with important stuff that we will need, two more last minute "potty" trips and before you know it, by golly, we're out on the water heading for a really great spot (the cable guy told me), glorious day, wind in our face, blue sky - the whole 9 yards. We didn't bring the instructions for the new GPS and don't have a clue just exactly where that spot is, but we do have plan "B".
   Hey, lobster are everywhere, just anchor and dive, and if we would of made trip 6 with the anchor, that would have worked.
   Not to worry, we got plan "C". We head for the Hwy 1 bridge approach where there is a ton of rip-rap and lots of crevices for those lobsters to hide, we tie off to a palm tree - it is totally under control. Of course, all that dawdling' getting the stuff & the kids on the boat got us right into the tide change which really sweeps down along that bridge approach and I got teenagers spread up and down the shoreline for a half mile and still goin', but that's another story.

The local seafood market sold me a bunch of some really nice fresh tails for about $25, which worked out to a $17,425 savings.



My son in law, Mr. Ed (named after the horse) has his own way of catching lobster. He parks the wife and kids with grandpa, strolls down to the bridge with his $12 K-mart flippers, mask, snorkel, net and tickle-stick kit. Jumps in at slack tide and is usually back in 30 minutes or so, with a limit of them damn lobsters.

My neighbor, Toothless Charley (he's bald) who moved down here before the railroad was built and Caloosa Indians ruled the islands has a spot or two out on the reef just offshore - he claims the Indians told him about them and it's a sacred thing and won't reveal just where the spots are. However, the neighbor on the other side of the trailer park gave me some guaranteed numbers.
   I used my new multi-function, hand held, lots of buttons and gizmos Global Positioning Satellite Receiver - with the instructions (written by the same guys who put out the instructions on the easy way to use Microsoft Excel) and I found the  seafood counter (with some damn lobsters) at the Winn-Dixie right where the lat and long said it was.

I think I'm gonna try mah-jongg.

For Sale:
1 used boat & motor
1 new GPS, original box and instructions
 (still has good, guaranteed numbers on it)
1 anchor, never used
1 fiberglass club (very thin)
1 size 12 flipper (left foot only)

That's all of what is left when you
have teenagers (My luck, I did find all the kids)

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